Quantum of Solace REVIEW

So I'm sitting there in the theater, waiting for the movie to start, watching the lame yet entertaining pre-previews for a car a don't want and a cologne that smells bad, when all of a sudden this lady decides she's gonna sit right in the seat next to me rather than leave an air pocket for me to breathe in. Y'know what I'm talking about?? The theater was not full enough yet that she had to squeeze all the way in and sit directly beside me, but she did anyway. So now she's invaded my personal space. So I turn to her and say, "are you kiddin' me??" and she doesn't respond. So I say, "that's nice, don't even answer", and she doesn't. So I'm frustrated, and my friend who came with me is just laughing at my inconvenience, and then this woman has the nerve to pull out of her purse a bag of chips and proceeds to eat directly from it, munchin and crunchin away, all the while having the bag crinkle and crack out of control! So I said to myself that's enough, and I stand from my seat. I look that arrogant bitch right in the eye and say "you and me, outside, RIGHT NOW!" And she looks back at me, and then throws the bag of chips across the the theater and hits some guy in the back of the head. This act has caused the entire auditorium full of people to look back at us, no longer caring about the Sex and the City Movie being advertised on the screen in front of them. I'm just staring back at this woman, looking her dead in the eyes, and she is just proving to be as calm as ever. Finally, she stands and begins to walk down the stairs to the outside. I follow. We go all the way to the parking lot before she turns around, fist swinging directly for my head. I duck in time, and land a left jab into her ribs. She folds over for a second while I am able to kick her directly in her left temple. She screams in pain, and, feeling a bit bad about it, I opt to check if she is okay. Instead of responding with words, she spin kicks me in the side of the my head, taking off a piece of my ear in the process. I curse monumentally and attempt to block the one two combo she's got coming to my midsection. After taking a few in the gut, I started to get winded, but eventually I have just had enough of this bitch so I grab her arm and twist it around the back of her, all the while placing my other hand around her throat. She starts to flail as I choke her into submission, but it's no use for her. I am lulling her into catatonic state and she's slowly passing out. Her face is beet red, and her eyes are rolling back into head. Eventually, she subsides, and I lay her on the tarmac of the parking lot to think about the trouble she's caused me. Teach her to not leave a seat in between. 

Oh, and the movie was okay.